Whoever spray painted those distasteful remarks about Jambalaya's natural musk wouldn't know a good smell if it invaded their nostrils. Yes, the hall minotaur is still reigning terror in the high school halls—we're working on it. We welcome a new sponsor: The Egg Board of 'Merica! And just in time for book fair; check out a book about eggs and the beauty of the cloaca. Take care when walking on the ceiling in the social studies classroom. If anyone has any information on who keeps deleting Raymond Fiddlehorn's internet search history, please come forward. Thank you to our sponsors: Inchiladas as well as Matrescide. Music by David Petty. This month's parody song is You Spun Me All Night Long: She was a washing machine. She always got me clean. She scrubbed the dirt and grime from nearly every seam. That girl treats me right like I'm a delicate white. Soaking me through, she gets me sanitized. Spinning medium-slow, dispensing extra soap, when it was time to dry she wouldn't let me go. The walls rotated. The door vibrated. The jeans gyrated. My stains all faded when you...spun me all night long. Yeah, you...spun me all night long. She worked and toiled 'cause I was heavily soiled. Her liquid nearly boiled. I'm so god dang spoiled. Got me extra hot to remove an ink blot. Scrubbed a ketchup stain from a dropped tater tot. Had to twirl me 'round because my sleeves were bound. Then I started to drown and made a bubbling sound. Unattended and undefended, my hem was rended. It never ended when you...spun me all night long. Yeah, you...spun me all night long. You got me wet and then you...spun me all night long. You really soaked then you...spun me all night long. Yeah, you spun me. Well, you spun me...all...night...long.