Did you hear what happened to Larry the Crocodile? It was so tragic. Don't forget to fill your kid's backpack with milk for the contest! Picture day approaches—remember what we talked about. Don't go into the teacher's lounge. I'm sorry, but did you just say the kindergarten classroom caught fire again? Dammit, I owe Mr. Stanovich twenty bucks. 

Chasin' Girls lyrics:

It started out, just a hobby
Chasin' teenage girls through a darkened alley
I'd laugh, and they'd shriek
It was the funnest game of hide-and-seek

Minutes passed, I wouldn't hear a peep
Hiding by the dumpster with my machete
Until I would hear her cellphone ring

I'd say, "You can run, but you won't get far
You wanna know how I got this scar?"
She'd scream and try to unlock her car

Chasin' girls, what a job
Wanna sniff them and sleep in their bed with them
Suck their toes and cut their curls
Chasin' girls, great to catch, hard to hold
Wondering how you got into their home
I climbed in through the attic window
Chasin' girls

Caught my breath, and got a look
At a teenage heartthrob in a coffee shop
Standing there, I could see, my girl chasin' days were just beginning

And then she handed me a black coffee
I said, "Tell me, tell me where's the sugar and cream?
And can you give your home address to me?"

And now it's: I see you hidin' behind the couch
I wanna cottonswab the inside of your mouth
Let's get married, I already wrote my vows

Chasin' girls, I'm alive
There is nothing more exhilarating
Than watching them run around in circles
Chasin' girls, break the latch
To her room, in the lighting of the moon
Watch her in silence and say, "Soon."
Chasin' girls

When you wake up from this nightmare
Feeling safe as you can be
I'll burst through your closet door
And chase you into the street
Oh no, yeah

Chasin' girls, I play fetch
They're the bone, as I dig them their own hole
They're the Pokemon of my world
Chasin' girls
Chasin' girls