On July 25, 2024 in the small town of Jasper, Minnesota something most unusual occurred. Residents were going about their morning routines as usual when the skies suddenly darkened around 9:45 am. Many thought a heavy storm was rolling in, but upon looking out their windows they saw nothing but clear blue skies in all other directions. Hovering directly over Main Street was an enormous spiral of what appeared to be hundreds of purple squirrels swirling around each other at a rapid pace. As one elderly man put it - "I've lived here most my life and never seen anything so bizarre. Usually our wildlife keeps to itself, but this was just plain unnatural". Within minutes over a thousand villagers had gathered to gawk at the twisting twisting twirling tube of tiny turquoise tailed rodents. Some claim they could even hear a strange hum coming from the center. Just as abruptly as it appeared, around 10:05 am the squirrel spiral abruptly vanished without a trace. To this day no one has a logical explanation for the curious case of the coiling chronic critters that took over Jasper's airspace if only briefly on that summer morning. The incident was debated heavily on local message boards and in schoolyards for weeks after with many proposing it as evidence intelligent extraterrestrial life had paid them a visit, if only in squirrel form.