8 FEB 2018 · Today is going to be the last day for Jemima working as a UK space engineer. Once she’s finished this final job on adult satellite hugemongouswowwows.com , she’s taking the engineering-pod back to ‘Command & Control’ for her leaving party. It’s going to be glorious. She’s going to make a funny yet poignant speech. People will cry and tell her that they’re going to miss her. She’ll be showered with gifts and then she’s going to Exeter with her boyfriend to start a new life! She’s forgotten to put any of this in her protocol diary, but that won’t matter; will it? Welcome to our new #scifi #comedy #audiodrama ‘Pod To Pluto’ and say hello to ‘Jemima Belafonte’ and her ‘Pod’ computer. As they try and keep each other company during their 4.67 billion mile trip to Pluto!

1 MAR 2018 · So, what do you do to pass the time when you’re spending the next five years stuck in a tiny engineering pod? You can only play “Screamy-Screamy-Guessy-Guess” for so long. After all, it won’t take long before you can no longer distinguish a scream of simple competition, to a scream of crushing frustration! So how about a trip to the garbage-belt then? After all, there’s loads of sweet stuff up there. Some people even say it’s the treasure trove of the entire universe. As long as you really like human skulls that is...

22 MAR 2018 · It’s time for Jemima to exercise her democratic franchise! However like most elections it’s a two horse race and neither are very tempting. Yet there is one policy that’s rather appealing to her. Johnny December is playing a very home front campaign. Unlike his opponent Hairy Jenny; he’s standing on a ticket of cutting spending by curbing unnecessary space exploration. Jemima feels like she could get behind that (considering she’s currently involved in some unnecessary space exploration) Her shipboard computer ‘Pod’ however, has other ideas...

12 APR 2018 · Jemima thinks that Mars is just a barren, dull, lifeless hole. With the only people living there being lonely singing space miners. She says it’s just like a historical Welsh theme park; but with love spoons instead of rollercoasters. Pod is still going to dig a little deeper though, as he loves folk traditions and really wants to hear those funny little miners singing their songs! Yet, Jemima can’t shake the feeling that she’ll end up eating cheese on toast with a stick of leek in her hair... or worse!

3 MAG 2018 · In deep space; every day feels like a Tuesday for Jemima. That’s because Tuesdays; in all their wretched banal glory, always feel like the most awful of days. So perhaps Jemima should just lie back and talk to somebody about these deep-seated feelings? Would that help? Maybe the lights can be dimmed and some relaxing soft music played? She can start to relax and breathe deeply. Yes, this is much better; she’s starting to enjoy this now… And that’s when Pod starts talking about sex with her mother...

24 MAG 2018 · It’s somehow always night-time in deep space, which means there is an awful lot of spare time for Jemima to think about odd random ‘stuff’ whilst trapped alone in the dark empty void. Especially her ‘very long’ distance relationship with her boyfriend Graham. So in this emotional season final of ‘Pod To Pluto’, she tries to contact him and get things nicely sorted out once and for all. Who knows, he might even pop the big question to her!

30 NOV 2018 · Things get pretty lonely when you’re two hundred thousand miles away from home. Especially when you’re spending the first of half a decade’s worth of ‘Christmas Eves’ alone with just your sarcastic shipboard AI for company (and a lot of desiccated coconut) So Jemima thinks that maybe explaining the Nativity to Pod will help it understand the holiday a little bit more. She was wrong. Very wrong…

28 FEB 2019 · Life continues under the blanket of boredom for Jemima, as she endures her long dull journey through deep space on her way to Pluto to go turn off a lightbulb. Yet strangely, she currently seems to be feeling even more exhausted than normal. Could it be that a diet of processed spam, tinned wine and full fat cheese has started to make her feel unwell? Or perhaps her constant shortness of breath might have something to do with all the oxygen around her having a rather strange blue tint. Air shouldn’t look blue; should it?

21 MAR 2019 · A birthday comes but once a deep space solar cycle for Pod, who was born 23 years ago today! Pod still thinks it looks just as glistening and new as that moment when the Astro Dock Mid-Wifery team handed it to his mummy, who flicked it’s engage button while his father cut the umbilical matrix (it really was horrible what happened to his father). However, Jemima thinks Pod can’t celebrate a birthday, given that it’s nothing but a hulking, almost decrepit mass of pig iron with no soul and no appreciation of the human condition. But if that’s the case, why is everyone so keen to congratulate it today?

11 APR 2019 · It’s one of the seven wonders of the galaxy! One of the true great sights! A view that has been known to cause strong men, men who have spent their entire life dedicated to the cause of atheism, to fall to their knees and thank God for having been allowed life! So, is this a description of the majesty of Saturn’s rings, or just the glory of a KFC family bucket meal? Pod is getting so glitch these days, it’s hard to tell. Maybe some workplace training will help?