Welcome to You Already Know, the podcast with jokes about news you already know. My name is James Creviston and I am a comedian in Los Angeles. Here are this weeks news jokes.

A beachgoer stumbled upon 65 pounds of cocaine that had washed ashore in Tampa, Florida. The man only realized it was cocaine after he got a rush from snorting what he thought was white sand.

The Biden administration is expected to announce a ban on menthol cigarettes, in order to protect African American communities. The administration has said it wants to expand the ban to include fried chicken, watermelon, and grape soda.

In an effort to bring back diners, Hooters is opening a new, fast-casual restaurant chain spinoff. The spinoff will be a quicker service kiosk with the same food and will be called Itty Bittys.

Ohio Republicans introduced a bill to rename a State park after Donald Trump. The park was picked because it is already a great place to get groped against your will.

A woman was charged with a felony for not returning a VHS tape 21 years late. The woman was so mad at the charges she didn’t even rewind.

A Nigerian teen was offered 19 scholarships worth more than $5 million from the US and Canadian schools. All of it will of course go to help her cousin, a wronged Nigerian Prince.

Country Music legend Willie Nelson celebrated his 88th birthday. Instead of cake he had brownies and he doesn’t remember it’s his birthday.

These are the jokes for May 3, 2021. I’m James Creviston you can find me on YouTube and this is You Already Know.