Welcome to You Already Know, the podcast with jokes about news you already know. My name is James Creviston and I am a comedian in Los Angeles. Here are this weeks news jokes.

Amazon has announced it is bringing palm-reading payment tech to Whole Foods stores. So you can get your palms read in the Vegan aisle and at the register.

New research has revealed that traces of radioactive fallout from nuclear tests in the 1950s and 1960s can still be found in American honey. So move over Incredible Hulk here comes The Incredible Drone.

President Joe Biden pledged to cut U.S. greenhouse gas pollution in half by 2030. He has started by cutting his own bean intake and banning Taco Tuesdays.

According to a new tell all Prince Philip had ‘only one complaint’ about Queen Elizabeth during their 73-year marriage. It turns out that he couldn’t stand her Dutch ovening him in bed.

Polish Animal Control officers detained what was reported to be an animal stuck in a tree, but instead turned out to be a croissant. Authorities detained the croissant and disposed of it during lunch.

A Ukrainian airline is commemorating the 35th anniversary of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant disaster by offering an aerial tour of the site. The flight includes a tour, snacks, and an extreme form of cancer.

A fight over the name of Josh drew a crowd of hundreds from around the country to a Nebraska park on April 24th for a heated pool-noodle brawl. Following the battle there was no longer any Americans named Josh.

These are the jokes for April 26, 2021. I’m James Creviston you can find me on YouTube and this is You Already Know.