When I was a little girl, my grandmother used to tell me stories of a reality television program where models would compete under the watchful eye of an elder (relative to models) guide giving bizarre advice couched in riddles, for the entertainment of millions of young millennials trying not to think about the Iraq war. Stories turned to legend, legend turned to myths, and myths turned to… forgotten… myths. But it’s true. The stories were all true. This week, we kick off Cycle 5 of America’s Next Top Model with a bang and watch “The Girl With A Twisted Catchphrase,” and are shocked to discover that it’s not a Joker quote. We meet a veritable swarm of new models, Tyra gives some extremely helpful advice to lesbians everywhere, poses are posed, and one model gets the chance to ask Tyra Banks any question she likes. She uses the opportunity wisely. Meanwhile, we all struggle to remember what town Twilight takes place in. Listen on!

S05E01: “The Girl With A Twisted Catchphrase"
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