Trascritto
Sorting Out What I Can & Can Not Control
15 lug 2024 ·
10 min.
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Sorting Out What I Can & Can Not Control
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Descrizione
This episode how we can only change what is in our control verses what is not. Have you ever tried to change something that just wasn't in your control? Well...
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This episode how we can only change what is in our control verses what is not. Have you ever tried to change something that just wasn't in your control? Well this episode is one you'll enjoy!
Sorting Out What I Can & Can Not Control…..
So! Have you ever tried to change something that is totally out of your control? I know I have more than once and after attempting to try and change it more than once. I finally gave up! Something many of us hate to do is let go of what we can’t control versus what we can. For instance… No matter how hard I try to be nice and prove all the negative things said about me aren’t true. The more it surfaces, the more I try to speak to those who I know dislike me.
The more distant we become. The more I leave nice loving messages to my children the less they notice. Things that are totally out of my control. Have you had any experience similar or did the exact same thing with getting results different than what you expected? Well let's take a journey into how to sort out what we can control versus what we can’t. For starters let’s focus on reminding ourselves that as long as we meet our expectations of sending that encouraging message or making that call to those we find to be at a distance from us. We should be okay with that and remembering we can only change what we can, do what we can, and provide good intentions on our end. Then we can’t allow it to go beyond that.See, we have to remember people have lives and they don’t or we shouldn’t expect them to build their lives around us. Some people enjoy doing that while others are just plain out busy. It’s to be expected we have to respect that at some point. People will prioritize what they choose to prioritize. People some have hearts and others could care less what you hold dear to yours. It’s just how some people operate. You're not a priority not until they make you one or more times something happens and then you're a priority.
Personally, I love my children but now that they are grown it’s no longer me in their lives influencing them but you have other people who are just as much an influencer to them now as I was. Now that they are grown it’s a lot more people in their ears, not just mommy anymore. But then you have others who know this and will encourage them to call mom or hey I remember when you & your mommy did this or that. It’s just the way some people in our world are. The proper influences I’m hoping reach them more so than those improperly ones RIGHT?
I can control how I react to this scenario and I’ve been choosing to react positively.They may think this way leads them into adulthood faster or gets them to depend solely on themselves. But honestly it’s a dangerous way to think. We all are here to help and lead each other. You are in control of what it is you can control, I didn’t say have power to control but who has the control without being overbearing.Like for instance you can’t change the minds of your kids for not living how you raised them or for what lifestyle you chose for them.
But you can continue to be loving and can be examples to them in spite of what they are choosing.
One may smoke, one may drink and one may be in and out of prison. But if you’ve raised them and taught them not (baby them). It’s not something you have control over.
If you’ve enabled them then I could see why you're wanting to have control and try to change it.
But there's still nothing you can do to control it. You can begin to set some boundaries, and live now with them. Stop enabling a grown adult child that you can’t control. But a child that has always been a bad, spoiled, robbing bad child and mom denied his behavior all these times. Then it’s guilt wanting to control this situation. But again! You can’t control it, you can only sort out what you can.
Now what about our relatives? Those ones we just try to please but still not grateful. Again! You can only control what your actions are versus theirs.You can’t change how your family acts, how our choices have taken us through different struggles in life.
That’s nothing you have control over and it will only get better when we realize we can only change what is in our control. That means we can change what we can anytime but we still can’t change another person’s decisions, or paths they choose.
You can’t change how your family member spends his or her money. How they choose to keep allowing childhood frustrations still impacts their lives. You can’t change how their financial outcome is versus yours. We all live in our own lanes, and we can change lanes but we can’t drive somebody else’s car in that lane at the same time.
There's no way we can do that. Right!We will all have that one thing we want to change that is in our control. But we have to realize we can only change what is in our control.
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
mostra meno
Sorting Out What I Can & Can Not Control…..
So! Have you ever tried to change something that is totally out of your control? I know I have more than once and after attempting to try and change it more than once. I finally gave up! Something many of us hate to do is let go of what we can’t control versus what we can. For instance… No matter how hard I try to be nice and prove all the negative things said about me aren’t true. The more it surfaces, the more I try to speak to those who I know dislike me.
The more distant we become. The more I leave nice loving messages to my children the less they notice. Things that are totally out of my control. Have you had any experience similar or did the exact same thing with getting results different than what you expected? Well let's take a journey into how to sort out what we can control versus what we can’t. For starters let’s focus on reminding ourselves that as long as we meet our expectations of sending that encouraging message or making that call to those we find to be at a distance from us. We should be okay with that and remembering we can only change what we can, do what we can, and provide good intentions on our end. Then we can’t allow it to go beyond that.See, we have to remember people have lives and they don’t or we shouldn’t expect them to build their lives around us. Some people enjoy doing that while others are just plain out busy. It’s to be expected we have to respect that at some point. People will prioritize what they choose to prioritize. People some have hearts and others could care less what you hold dear to yours. It’s just how some people operate. You're not a priority not until they make you one or more times something happens and then you're a priority.
Personally, I love my children but now that they are grown it’s no longer me in their lives influencing them but you have other people who are just as much an influencer to them now as I was. Now that they are grown it’s a lot more people in their ears, not just mommy anymore. But then you have others who know this and will encourage them to call mom or hey I remember when you & your mommy did this or that. It’s just the way some people in our world are. The proper influences I’m hoping reach them more so than those improperly ones RIGHT?
I can control how I react to this scenario and I’ve been choosing to react positively.They may think this way leads them into adulthood faster or gets them to depend solely on themselves. But honestly it’s a dangerous way to think. We all are here to help and lead each other. You are in control of what it is you can control, I didn’t say have power to control but who has the control without being overbearing.Like for instance you can’t change the minds of your kids for not living how you raised them or for what lifestyle you chose for them.
But you can continue to be loving and can be examples to them in spite of what they are choosing.
One may smoke, one may drink and one may be in and out of prison. But if you’ve raised them and taught them not (baby them). It’s not something you have control over.
If you’ve enabled them then I could see why you're wanting to have control and try to change it.
But there's still nothing you can do to control it. You can begin to set some boundaries, and live now with them. Stop enabling a grown adult child that you can’t control. But a child that has always been a bad, spoiled, robbing bad child and mom denied his behavior all these times. Then it’s guilt wanting to control this situation. But again! You can’t control it, you can only sort out what you can.
Now what about our relatives? Those ones we just try to please but still not grateful. Again! You can only control what your actions are versus theirs.You can’t change how your family acts, how our choices have taken us through different struggles in life.
That’s nothing you have control over and it will only get better when we realize we can only change what is in our control. That means we can change what we can anytime but we still can’t change another person’s decisions, or paths they choose.
You can’t change how your family member spends his or her money. How they choose to keep allowing childhood frustrations still impacts their lives. You can’t change how their financial outcome is versus yours. We all live in our own lanes, and we can change lanes but we can’t drive somebody else’s car in that lane at the same time.
There's no way we can do that. Right!We will all have that one thing we want to change that is in our control. But we have to realize we can only change what is in our control.
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
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