Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!

This week, the Sailor Senshi fight desperately to save Mamoru from the clutches of Queens Beryl and Metalia! Will the powers of love and friendship be able to break his evil bonds or will Usagi have to make the ultimate sacrifice?

In this episode, Kal talks about the cultural history of s*icide in Japan, seppuku, and the concept of amae. Plus, Vader v. Senshi, Mamoru is the Jean Grey, putting all your points into Force Push, deleting your reddit account, Bunki with the good hair, Luke in the throne room, souls confirmed, hair tentacles, eating okay, death to all accessories, letting your story elements go off one by one, sparing you the play, sitcom medical treatments, a probationary dictator, restoring and excruciating energy, Nephrite is their Jupiter, all destiny...no life, Queen beryl is Madeline Pryor, throwing purple fruits, and a payoff with no money!

It's just Star Wars now!

**Trigger warning for s*icide and self-harm, skip to 1:29:30 when prompted**

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