June 19, 1999: I can do it on my own
I’m standing on the corner of walk and don’t walk—the ability to say, “yes,” but I say, “no,” the loyalty to succeed only to lay low—accusing the situation on a need…to rest. I am lost but I have desire—a lack of inspiration…a calling into the forest of influence. I scream, “Wolf!” They once ran to my side. Today, I’ve grown silent—I hear the motor within this light fixture. It clicks, it’s stuck, frozen, caught between walk and don’t walk—I see it as a sign, a signal, a message to run, run away, to hide, to walk on paths unrecognized…yet safe. I suffer from fear of failure, signals cross, and change. Stop blinking! I become frozen with no idea of who’s talking.