Marcel thinks two things at the same time and feels uncomfortable, Dan reveals his fetish for human rights activism, and both of us try not to burn our bridges with the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation

-Flattening the Curve and the Revenge of the Midwits [Beginning]
>Democrats
-Bernie Drops Out, Endorses Biden [0:05:45]
-Cuomo Restores Natural Order, Rurals Upset [0:21:47]
-Where is your Herd Immunity now? [0:29:35]
Trump
-Andrew Cuomo says States' Rights [0:37:45]
-Trump quotes CNN, CNN calls it propaganda [0:46:45]
Libertarians
-Thomas Massie Has Best Enemies [0:51:25]
-Liberals Mad at Agricultural Adjustment Act of 1933 [0:58:51]
-Republicans Agree Kulaks Hoarded Grain [1:03:40]
-Marcel's Least Favorite Holiday Gets Cancelled [1:11:38]
-Libertarans Want You To Know That They Are Smart [1:20:23]
-Conservatives Denounce Richard Nixon, Selectively Embrace John Birch Society, Marcel Still Upset [1:23:00]
Media
-Méiyǒu Gòngchǎndǎng jiù méiyǒu xīn xíng guān zhuàng bìng dǔ ("Without The Communist Party, There Would Be No New Corona Virus") [1:26:03]
-WWE Declared Essential [1:29:26]
NOTE: During the WWE Segment, I refer to Vince McMahon's wife, for some reason, as "Janet McMahon, Some Kind Of Education Thing Or Whatever" When in fact his wife is Linda McMahon, head of the Small Business Administration. Please do not hit me with a steel chair.
-Hosts consumed product, not that excited for next product. [1:31:26]
-Trump "Looking At" Tiger King [1:35:15]

AND Your hosts sort of kind of get back on schedule, but don't bother to cite their sources anymore.