Why do we do self-defeating things like eat an entire sleeve of cookies when we are supposed to be on a diet? Or run up charges on our credit cards when we’re already struggling to make the minimum payment? Or act out in ways that sabotage our relationships?

Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment psychotherapist and author Susan Anderson says that these self-sabotaging behaviors come from an aspect of our personalities that most people aren’t consciously aware of — their Outer Child.