Many women desire a healthy relationship with a man that is caring, handsome, honest and romantic. We end up meeting men who we believe will do these things and some appear to have everything that we ever wanted. However, as time pass, we realize that this handsome man is different from what we envisioned. His true colors are showing and now you are weighing your options... should you stay all to tell others "you got a man at home"? Or, should you leave with your dignity and start all over again with someone else?


1. When you are miserable
You love this African man but something about him makes you miserable and you can't put your finger on what exactly it is. I have been in this situation before and I figured out that it was because this dude was not dating me properly. I was trying to make the relationship what I wanted it to be instead of seeing it for what it was which was a dead end. I had to break it off for my own happiness.

2. You make crazy excuses for this man all the time
When this African guy is doing something insane, you find yourself having to explain to folks why he did what he did. I had an associate that would always have to apologize and explain to folks why her man was a rude head. I also had to apologize to people when my 1st son's father acted like an ass hole in public. Big mistake.

3. You can't be you/he can't understand
You love this African man but the thing is, he doesn't get you and he doesn't even try to understand your feelings. When you talk to him about something, he brushes it off. Example: After sex, you tell him that you didn't like something he did and you wanted it another way. He then complains and turns the blame back on you. Little situations that you want to talk about to improve the relationship he doesn't want to hear it. Y'all is arguing over and over about the same old things.

4. He is too bossy and refuses to change for the better
Now, you had the talk with him concerning growth and what you envision and he despises it. You want to go back to school and get a better job whereas instead of encouraging you, he is sitting back secretly hating on you. He wants to be better than you and doesn't understand teamwork in a relationship. He is also becoming to argumentive, a pain or super disrespectful. You are no longer really enjoying his presence.

5. You envy other healthy relationships
You see the men in these relationships dating their women properly and taking her out and showering them with gifts and you get jealous. Or you see that the man really loves this woman and you are now wondering why this isn't happening to you. Sis, it is time to discover a man that really loves you because once you are in true love, you won't worry about what the next woman and man are doing.

6. You are doing everything
You find yourself having to plan date nights and even foot the bill most of the time for vacations. You also see that you have to practically get on him for his lack of thought for ya'll relationship. He fails to show you that you are truly loved by him. He stops putting in effort and commitment.

7. Your gut is screaming/things are looking grim
You frequently question (in your mind) why are you both together and deeply hope for a change. You aren't as happy as you use to be. You can also see that you have changed but not in the best ways. I have seen a situation where the lady has taken on a lot of the guy's negative behavior and ended up very depressed and saddened in the end. He is damaging you for the next man.... leave him asap!


Some ladies stay in bad relationships or even situationships for a long time and if you are one that is in one... you should sit down and write out the pros and cons of staying in this relationship. I realized that by writing down stuff in my journal, it gives me a better perspective of everything. Are you staying because he is really handsome? Love sex? He's the breadwinner? You live with him? Whatever the reason is, work towards a plan to leave him alone and be very careful with how you handle this because a lot of men, in general, don't like it when their woman is leaving and may retaliate. I see this a lot on Fatal Attraction and ID. Be safe out here ladies.

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