That Jambalaya Hors D'oeuvres versus the Marzipan Almond Slivers game really crumbled apart, didn't it? If you're still crying over the spilt milk, wait until you hear who drowned in it. It was an honor hosting the President of 'Merica—I'm so happy that all those secret service agents stuck around. Hold your horses for this gripping story: ASB elections were held, and I'm still grasping the fact that Raymond Fiddlehorn clenched victory. The Claw Machine of Confiscated Contraband is a big hit with staff and amphibian aficionados alike. Plus: the upcoming Spelling Bee, an update on the color of the cafeteria milk, and a school club full of blow hards. Food Court and Pabst Brown Ribbon Beer sponsored this episode, as well as Budweiser. The music for this episode was performed by Seaisforcarlo. You can listen to all of his hypnotic tracks at seaisforcarlo.bandcamp.com
 This month Vice Principal Mr Jonesandmi performed The Kart of Mario, a parody of The Heart of Rock and Roll by Huey Lewis and the News. Lyrics: Koopa Troopa Beach, I'm catching some waves. Go kart racing along the sea. Scuttling pincers snapping toward me. The locals sure are crabby. When he sees me cruising, turtle shells he's loosing. That Italian plumber acts so vile. But it's when he comes towing red shells with him, he sends me to the junkyard pile. They say the Kart of Mario can't be beaten. And from these mushrooms he's been eatin', goes so fast that Peach thinks he's cheatin'. And the Kart of Mario, the Kart of Mario's undefeated. DK's Jungle Parkway, I let it rip. I'm pelted from coconut trees. Speed on ice past the sexy penguin girls sliding on their bellies. How is it I'm losing when I'm always boosting? Mario simply flies right past. Followed closely through Wario Stadium—did that Yoshi just lick me in the ? They say the Kart of Mario can't be beaten. Endless turtle shells he is yeetin'. I don't find thrown bananas appealing. And the Kart of Mario, the Kart of Mario is still beeping. Mama mia! Banshee Boardwalk has got me tumblin' down. Boosting on Rainbow Road. Yoshi Valley. Kalimari Desert. Eatin' Choco Mountain à la mode. How can I not use it? How could I refuse it? A blue shell covered in sharp spikes. Watch it lock on to that first place jackass. Too bad I'm hit by lightning strikes. Mother fu-fu-fu-fu-fu- They say the Kart of Mario can't be beaten. Give me star power, I am pleadin'. As his brother I'm really mistreated. But the Kart of Mario, now the Kart of Mario is defeated. 

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